The Hack to Giving Yourself Unlimited Social Battery (Especially with People You Can't Stand)

There are people you instinctively cannot stand. Their humor doesn’t land, their energy feels off, something about them just rubs you the wrong way.

Often in life you’re forced into situations where you have to be around them. Whether it’s mutual friends or work, you can’t always choose who’s gonna be there.

Most people including myself would either:

• Fake it (put on a performance that’s exhausting to maintain)
• Avoid altogether (stop going to group events, miss out on relationships they actually value)

All these options suck. You either lose relationships you actually care about, become someone you’re not, or exhaust yourself pretending.

The hack:

Be selfish.

I mean this - instead of fighting your feelings about them, work with what’s actually there.

There’s no point in fighting against the wave. If you don’t like some qualities or what that person might represent - that’s ok.

This might sound cynical but everyone serves a function. A more humane way to say that is everyone has a role.

I like to think of it as a superpower. Everyone even if they suck has one superpower. It’s something that comes natural to them. And it’s not always obvious.

For example: Person A might be a pain in the ass. A stickler for the rules. But their superpower might be that they’re really good at organizing events for everyone to take part in.

Another example: Person B might be so annoying. Always yapping but their superpower is that there’s never awkward silence with the group. They’re carrying the conversation which is great for when you want to take a break.

Look, they’re already doing these things because it comes naturally to them. You’re just choosing to focus on the benefits instead of what pisses you off.

People have superpowers. Traits that you genuinely enjoy and find fun and benefits you. Even if you hate their guts you relegate them to a simple tool executing their role, nothing more, nothing less. You’ll find you can survive any situation with anyone. Let people do what they do best.

This isn’t about using people or being fake. It’s about being smart with your attention.

You stop fighting reality and start working with it. Social situations become easier, not because people change, but because you do.